4. Responding to an Impossible (Narcissist) Co-Parent

Phrases like crazy-making, gas-lighting. twisting words, and avoiding responsibility, are just a few of the many complaints made by the co-parent who is frustrated with a narcissistic co-parent. Diane and Rick address Paul from Phoenix who wants help with his. Although changing someone with personality flaws of any type is nearly impossible, using protective boundaries in communication can minimize conflict and add years to your life!

Here is a list of suggested responses to a narcissitic co-parent, including some of the ones we discussed on this episode:

1.      “Your attempt to portray me in a negative light is noted.”

2.      “I look forward to getting to a place in our co-parenting relationship where we can negotiate things. For the time being, I intend to follow the order 

3.      “This has nothing to do with the matter at hand,” (repeat question they're trying to distract you from). 

4.      “I know that is your perception, but it doesn’t make it reality.”

5.      “I do not feel these misrepresentations warrant a response and I see no purpose to this email other than to increase conflict. As such, I am noting my objection and your attempts to portray me in a negative light.“

6.      “I do not agree with your portrayal of the event in question.”

7.      “Your recollection of events differs greatly from mine.”

8.      “Your attempt to elicit a negative response from me has been noted.” 

9.      “I will keep you abreast of anything that affects our child as it comes up. Thanks for your concern.” 

10.   “Thanks for letting me know your thoughts, I’ll consider them.”

11.   “I’m sorry you see it that way. Our different perceptions is one of the reasons we divorced.”

12.   “I will continue to comply with the court ordered parenting plan as I believe consistency is in the best interest of our child."

13.   In response to threats, “If that is what you feel you must do, I understand.”

14.   “We have reached an impasse of opinion.”

15.   “I am not willing to do that, but thanks for asking.”

16.   “You may access that information at your convenience by signing up for the school’s online portal.” 

17.   “Interesting.”

18.   “If I don’t hear back from you by May 1st, I will assume we are in agreement on this matter.” 

19.   “Please provide a copy of the ________________ that you reference.”

20.   “Your allegations are untrue, but I do not wish to engage in an argument.”

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Do you have a co-parent dilemma? Call our voicemail number at 1-234-DILEMMA or email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

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